Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
