if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
