This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
