turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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