so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
