I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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