So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
i've created a new STD.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
