Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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