I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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