shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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