is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
