dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
