youre lurking in front of me
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
