Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
