i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
