I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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