its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
