Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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