i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
