She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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