The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
