Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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