You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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