Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
