Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
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I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
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Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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