my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
