i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
