So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We had to coat check the pizza.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
