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so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I could fuck to npr.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
