You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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