I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
