I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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