It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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