I just pynch a tree in the face
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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