failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
