piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
