If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Randomize
