Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize