I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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