I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
