just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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