She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
