Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
