apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
