A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
My dick has a subreddit
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
