why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
