I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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