Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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