I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
