And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...