I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.