I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
