I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize