All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize