mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
