i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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