We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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