fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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