no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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